This Strange Sensation

I feel a strange sensation I can't put my finger on. It feels like a mix of happiness with a hint of sadness. It's exciting but still subtly sad at the same time.

I wonder if this is about my ongoing musical project: "Indian Bansuri," which I've just played back. This sensation could be a reflection of the song's themes; sadness in the lyrics and excitement in the cinematic sound design.

I wonder if this has something to do with my feelings about relationships and yearning for connection. A worry that I have carelessly hurt someone with a single text message, and yet, at the same time, a recognition that there is a connection.

I wonder if this is awakening, a realization of the capital S Self. Not connecting or re-connecting, since I can't re-connect with what I'm always connected to, but rather a feeling of opening one's eyes. 

I wonder so many things. 

Maybe this is just Tuesday after lunch.

Maybe there isn't much to it.

Maybe it is just what it is.